The manifesto
The backwards paradigm-
It's common knowledge in this society: Wash you hands after using the bathroom.
There are even various studies of percentages of people who do. The gender differences,
the cities… everything so meticulously documented. There's even a hand
washing awareness week. Now, this manifesto is directed towards the males but
the same may hold true for the ladies, I just happen to be male and watch guys
time after time coming into a bathroom, doing their business at the urinal and
proceeding to the sink for a quick and ineffective hand wash. Good for them.
Be it a habit or a conscious awareness of the dangers of germs, they think they
are doing the right thing - never realizing that they just sullied that which
they hold dearest to them. Their penis.
Public places-
For the most part, public places are… filthy. Used by everyone and cleaned
occasionally by someone who has no vested interest in the actual cleanliness.
Just for fun (trust me it's an absolute gas!) pay attention to everything your
hands come into contact with… door handles, counter tops, money, other
people, railings etc. and think about the sheer number of others who have gotten
their grubby mits all over them prior. Still not convinced? Then just go out
somewhere and go about your business and pay no mind to what you're touching.
When you do make it into the john and wash your hands (first thing of course),
really wash them, with warm water and soap, then marvel at the visible filth
being removed… and you were going to go handle your junk?!
Bacteria-
The real issue here is bacteria. Bacteria are simple unicellular organisms that
vary widely in structure and behavior. They are everywhere, all around you all
the time. Some are harmless, but some love nothing more than to infect and proliferate
inside of you or on you causing unpleasant conditions, sickness and even death
in extreme cases.
I guess the "wash after you pee" thing comes from the fact that your
fruit bowl is a prime spot for there to be bacteria, which is true on one hand:
bacteria do very well in warm dark moist undisturbed environments such as soft,
sweaty, nuggets of flesh all tucked away. However, for the most part, it's a
closed system. It's been safely tucked away in your pants and so, provided that
your undies are fresh, shower regularly and are disease free, should be relatively
clean. Your hands on the other, uh.. hand, as mentioned, have been touching
on all kinds of dirty dirty. They are riddled with who knows what, ready to
contaminate the cozy, clean cradle that is your crotch.
Bottom line -
Would you go and rub your cock all over a public handrail/ATM/taxi cab door
handle (sanitarily speaking, I am positive there are plenty who would do it
for the sheer entertainment value)? So then why would you rub it with your hand
and then subsequently rub said hand on the jewels… THEN wash your hands
as if the jewels got your hands dirty. Have some respect! Likewise, I doubt
many ladies would entertain the idea of felating a bathroom door handle, but
if you don't wash first, that's pretty much what is going on.
Food service-
We've all seen the signs in restaurant bathrooms indicating that it's the law
that employees wash their hands after draining one. GREAT! If someone's going
to be handling my food, their sanitary hands are definitely a concern to me.
Again, would I want a stranger dipping their nuts in my tangy cocktail dip?
No! If you work in food service, definitely wash after, but wash first too,
I doubt that kitchen or those serving trays are the most sanitary of things
either. This brings me to the next point.
Do both-
If you work in food service or are concerned about exposing others to anything
you've got growing down there, by all means, wash before AND after. Nothing
wrong with that.. nowhere near OCD or anything, just a well informed and thoughtful
person doing their part to contribute to the overall cleanliness of the public
domain. And of course, if you're taking a tour of the fudge factory, you'll
want to be sure and give the mits a good scrubbing afterwards e.coli's a bitch!